I used to be all about New Year’s resolutions.
Throwing out that old calendar and hanging up a beautiful new one symbolizes a fresh new beginning. It’s a natural time to make that list of all the things you will do differently now that it’s a new year.
More exercise, less coffee. More healthy foods, less alcohol. Read the classics. Finally stop biting your nails. Become a vegetarian. Train for a marathon.
You know the drill.
We fill a sheet of paper with a list of good intentions, and a few weeks later it’s stuffed in a drawer and forgotten.
I gave up on them years ago. But I still love that optimistic feeling the fresh slate of a new year brings.
This year, inspired by many of my new blogging friends, I thought I’d try an Annual Review. A look back on what went well in the previous year, and what didn’t go so well. Taking the time to do this helps to clarify intentions for the months to come.
If I was a bit more organized I’d have started on this around Thanksgiving. Now, I’ve been traveling with extended family for the last couple of weeks and that has not allowed much time for introspection. (But it has afforded many unforgettable moments of togetherness with sisters, daughters, nephews, nieces, husband and in-laws. Priceless!)
And now here I am in the waning hours of the old year, and just beginning my review. At least on paper. It’s been brewing in the background of my brain for a while I guess.
What’s It Have To Do With Wellness?
It’s a cliche, but a true one: real wellness comes from within. No matter how many wonderful herbs we take, how attentive we are to what we eat, how many days a week we do our yoga asanas, jog five miles, or weight-train – if we don’t feel good about who we are we are not going achieve the goal of wellness.
So, here’s my confession: I may have been immersed in the world of natural wellness for more than two decades, but I’ve continued to struggle with that elusive goal of inner wellness.
See, I have yet to find the herb that brings true self confidence.
(Although writing that sentence does remind me to revisit the idea of taking flower essences. I haven’t taken anything except Rescue Remedy in years. Hmmm, maybe a future post could document an experiment with a flower essence combo for self confidence.)
Lately, I’ve noticed a feeling a dissatisfaction when looking back over the past year. At first I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. After all the year started out with a bang: I embarked on a two-month travel adventure. Something I’d dreamed of doing for many, many years. And the journey was so much more than I’d even imagined or anticipated.
But that’s a whole ‘nother story. But when I got back home I knew I wanted more of that. Lots more.
So upon my return I immersed myself in crash self-study course. I learned about blogging, social networking, and all the necessary skills to eventually build an online business that could allow me to travel and still make a living while doing it.
Well, I’m not sure if “learned” is exactly the correct term. I studied everybody I could find who was successfully doing the above. And I progressively became more and more overwhelmed with the possibilities, the potential.
And I became more and more convinced that everyone else knew so much more than I did.
That self-confidence bugaboo that has haunted me all my life was back in full force. Could I really pull this off?
Well, it would be so sweet to wrap up this post with an assurance that I’ve worked through this crisis of confidence and I’m forging ahead, completely assured of my direction and purpose.
But that would be a lie. And if there’s one thing I want to be sure I always practice in this new year, it’s authenticity.
Sure, I pride myself on being an honest person in my personal relationships. I’ve never gone for the whole philosophy of ‘not showing your hand,’ or keeping them guessing.
But when it comes to the public arena, well – I don’t always want to bare all my flaws. I try to make myself look more together than I actually am.
I’m not sure that is doing me – or anyone else – any good.
This year I celebrated a milestone birthday – my 50th. That’s 50 times around the sun. I don’t know how many more circles around I will be allotted – so I may as well give up pretending. From now on folks, I ‘resolve’ (oops that nasty word again!) to tell it to you straight.
So here’s where I need your help. What would YOU really like to read about on this blog? What grabs your attention? Inspires you? It’s fun to gather recipes for herbal concoctions and share them with you – but I’m not sure that is enough for either of us. Is there anything you’ve really loved (or really hated) that you’ve read here?
It’s a new year and I’m getting tough. I’m ready for your critique. Tell me in the comments, or email me at sarah(at)wellnessthenaturalway.com
And back to that Annual Review. After a few pages of freewriting I made three lists: Accomplishments, Disappointments and Intentions for 2012. Unlike many of my fellow bloggers who are publishing their Annual Reviews, my lists are more personal than business-oriented (since this blog is by no means a business yet.) But I’m happy to share them if you’re interested. You can find them on this hidden page.
And I meant it about your feedback. If you’ve gotten this far, you must have some thoughts about this blog. Please share with me so I can do my bloggy best in 2012!
Oh – and Happy New Year! May your wildest and most cherished dreams be realized.